This is my therapy... my outlet. My ability to give voice to my thoughts. My opportunity to share my story, and at the same time, an opportunity to provide encouragement - and seek healing. This is my story, and it's all in my head.
It's early in November. Heather and I wake up, take our walk as normal... but an odd sensation is causing some major discomfort on the bottoms of both of my feet. It feels like socks are bunching up under my feet, just where my arches are. I stop, pull up my socks - only to find they haven't shifted down like they sometimes do. The more I walk, the discomfort starts to go away - but never completely. Over the next few days the cycle repeats, but occassionally during the day the discomfort becomes so significant that even walking barefoot makes me want to walk on my tip-toes to avoid having the arch/heel section of my feet come in contact with the ground. During those times it no longer feels tingly, it feels like that part of my feet is inflamed and enlarged. A few days later the tingles start from the waist-down, all the way down the back side of my body.
Starting to get a bit worried, but suspecting I pinched something in my back, I let it go for a few days. I've noticed a drop in sensation everything waist-down - no complete, but noticeable. A few days later when I wake up my right arm feels like it is deep asleep. My last 3 fingers feel unaffected, but my thumb and index finger do not ease up as the morning moves on. Tingles extend up to my elbow, and slightly reduced sensation ran up the back side of my arm, all the way up the right side of my neck.
November 11th comes up. Tonight is the daddy/daughter dance with our youngest and I have been looking forward to, but first I need to figure out what's going on. A quick trip to my local clinic yielded a concerned RN that wanted to consult with other doctors. 2 hours later I'm told to head to the ED in Danville to get an urgent MRI. I arrive shortly after 2pm, and then proceed to go through the basic intake, nervously waiting to get the MRI.
I'm not sure I can say I have claustrophobia, but tight spaces do make me a tinge nervous. At 9pm they finally come back to take me to the MRI. Prayers go up... and I almost fall asleep twice during the scans. Talk about a praise! Almost 2 hours later I'm taken back to my room - 4 MRI pictures head & neck, with and without contrast. 30 minutes later the ED doctor says the results are concerning, but inconclusive. Chest X-ray, blood draws... More fun. FOr the next 2 hours I wait, only to find out I have a 6mm mass in my left occipital lobe, and 2 smaller spots on my right side, and that the ED has requested Neuro to consult.
2am I'm released, saying my labs and X-rays were clear, waiting on Neuro, but there are some concerns about potential multiple sclerosis.
November 14th, office visit with the Neuro. He's pretty sure it's MS. Lumbar puncture scheduled, blood checked to make sure of no infections so that we can look at starting infusions on a 3-day run.
November 21st I go back to get my lumbar puncture, and I get scheduled to have 3 infusions of Solu-Medrol over the next 3 days (ending on Thanksgiving).
Lumbar goes smoothly (great job doc!), and the infusions go like clockwork. Staff was excellent. I'm not a fan of needles, but by now I think I might be broken of that fear. Neuro schedules a follow-up for December 5th after we get the lumbar results back.
So... here we are about a week after the infusions... it's time to go get some groceries, and later on get our Christmas tree. Our middle child is sick, so Heather stays home. I take the other 2 grocery shopping... and it takes me almost 3 hours. In my head, the world is ending. Tomorrow is never coming... but not to spoil things - it did eventually come.
Fast forward to December 5th. Appointment with Neuro goes well. The doc says he is confident it's multiple sclerosis. In the time following the infusions, my symptoms waist-down have reduced to just a slight tingling in the arch area of my feet - no change in my right arm... but this is encouraging nonetheless. Given it's MS, in many ways I'm lucky my ability to walk/use my arms wasn't impaired - yet another praise. Suggested course of treatment is taking Copaxone 40mg 3x weekly - more shots, that I get to give to myself. Life just keeps getting better.
Some back story, my family has struggled with some oddities over the last 2 years or so, so we had already been seeing a practitioner that focuses on homeopathic healing/using more natural supplements/applying diets restrictive in things that are reducing the body's ability to heal. This includes gluten, corn, soy, dairy, etc. I've been making smaller changes since I didn't think I was impacted. That being said, since November 14th I switched over to avoiding as much gluten/corn as possible, reducing dairy/processed meats/anything inflammatory, and limiting sugar - and taking supplements that help with mobility and seeking high quality proteins and things with omega-3s. No sugar in the tea, lots of veggies and berries... and I started picking up jogging again.
In the course of all this I've found you *can* make yourself depressive trying to avoid all the "bad" things, or even by worrying - which at times I already have. Stress management and effective treatment strategies are supposedly key in reducing relapses... and if can have 2 or less relapses in the first 5 years, your odds improve significantly. That's the goal. Faith for me is integral in the stress management and treatment strategy I'm employing - so don't be surprised when Biblical verses pop up - as you may already be aware.
So where am I now? Right arm is the only thing still impacted. Mentality improving. Jogging 3x a week, walking daily. Sticking with as healthy diet as I can. Using resistance bands to help exercise my arms and maintain mobility. After a bit of an insurance debacle, I've just started on my Copaxone injections - though some idiot (me) decided to do them on the mornings of the same days I will be jogging, lol. I've connected with the Mayo Clinic's MS support group online forum, and I'm participating in PicnicHealth to follow my journey and hopefully help better inform the medical community and the public about the (mis)adventures of those with MS. Though it is an abused term in modern society, I truly do feel blessed by my situation, and I want to close with telling all of you why: because God is good.
You see, for the last almost 2 years I've been praying that my faith would work it's way from being head knowledge, and make it to my heart - that it would become a passion. I also have desired a better approach to health, and I've wanted to get back into running. Though I do not have the hair I once did, I did long to feel the wind against my face as I easily cruise running down the roadways of my small town. I also wanted to be in a position to help both my family, and the people I work with.
I'm in Scripture daily - for more time than I can remember, and I've deeply come to love the time I spend with God's Word. It's something I miss when it's been a chaotic morning and I wasn't able to spend the time I wanted to. I have even volunteered to speak from the pulpit - though not a fan of public speaking.
On top of it all, my workplace has seen some turnover, and the simultaneous opportunity to be a Director of 2 areas has opened up. I've enjoyed drawing these teams together, and I look forward to the future that we are starting to create. It certainly hasn't been without stress - as I continue to maintain the more technical aspects of my job while we pursue someone to handle those, but it's a challenge I look forward to daily.
... it's easy to get lost in the midst of the stress of each individual thing that has happened. But when comparing it against the desires I've lifted in prayer, it's unimaginable to believe God's Hand isn't uniquely at work.
So let me leave you with this - while I don't savor the impact MS could (and has already) had on my life, if this is the course God has permitted in my life - so that I may testify to His greatness and bring more glory to Him, then I'm thankful for MS. I'm not sure what tomorrow holds, but I know *who* has it in His hands.
--Jeff
